The beard. What better allowance to show off your God-given right to be a man? Looking on line I could not find too many decent tutorials on how to grow a beard. Strange, surely someone must wonder what is involved.
If you find yourself wondering as well, rest easy my friend. I shall give you five easy steps. Follow them and in no time at all, you shall join the bearded brethren.
You can, nay you must embrace the red-blooded, testosterone driven stallion within and grow a manly beard!
When you do, you'll be in great company. Jesus. Santa. The dudes from Duck Dynasty. Further you'll reduce your carbon footprint by using less shave cream and balm and evil disposable razors. Look at you, becoming holy and saving the earth in one swoop. You're the man now dawg.
And so, let us discuss 5 steps for growing an epic beard.
Step Number 1- Be born a man. And then reach puberty. Seriously, it’s not that difficult. If your testicles have fallen..you have accomplished step 1, give yourself a sticker.
Step 1-Be born a dude and wait till your balls drop
Step Number 2- Stop shaving. Just don’t do it. Yes you will itch and yes you will look like a homeless hippy for a while. That’s ok. Once it grows in you can trim and shape, but for the next few weeks, just let it go.
Step Number 3– Feed your beard-its hungry, very hungry. Nuts, potatoes, red meat, eggs, raisins, citric fruit, and fish. Basically the goal is to round out your diet so that you are getting all of the nutrients your body, and by default your beard needs to be at its best.
Step Number 4– Wash the damn thing. Little food particle will get stuck in there, and no you cannot save it for later, at least my wife won’t let me. But don’t use just any shampoo or soap. Beard soaps are formulated to keep the good oils in your beard and will help it stay healthy and clean. Always a good thing.
Step Number 5– Similar to the last, condition the beard. First off you are a gentleman, and as such presentation is of utmost import. Being exposed to the elements will dry the hairs out causing them to become bristly and coarse. You should use a beard conditioner or beard oil daily to ensure your hair stays smooth, soft and happy.
And there you have it gents. Five steps to growing an epic beard.
Here's the plug, we sell an amazing line of Beard Oils, Balms and Soaps. If you’re so incline, swing by the shop to learn more.
No matter what, enjoy this season of embracing your manliness!